It has been a week, blogosphere, and I still can't think of anything funny to say.
And of course, being me, that means I SAY NOTHING AT ALL.
BECAUSE I PRESSURE MYSELF, THAT'S WHY.
(If I can't be HILARIOUS, then what is the point in being ANYTHING? HMMMMMM?)
But I felt bad for not having written in SEVEN WHOLE DAYS (OMG, THE PRESSURE TO COME BACK HERE AND BE ABSOLUTELY KNOCK-DOWN DRAG-OUT FABULOUS AFTER SEVEN DAYS IS ENORMOUS) so I thought I'd write in and apologize.
As an added bonus, here is a list:
Things I'm Tired Of
(1) Snow
(no, really, we get it, Mother Nature. We'll write. We'll call. STOP HARASSING US ALREADY)
(2) Not being funny
(see above the list)
(3) People reading over my shoulder as a type
(yes, YOU. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. REST ASSURED THAT I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU.
In fact, here's a scenario. Let's pretend YOU are working on a rough draft of something THAT YOU WANT TO BE PERFECT (because you are a perfectionist. Just go with it. I mean, obviously you're not a perfectionist because your manners are DREADFUL AND YOU ARE STILL READING OVER MY SHOULDER YES I CAN TELL YOU ARE OH, LIKE LOOKING AWAY NOW AT YOUR NOTEBOOK IS REALLY FOOLING ANYONE and also because you are not working feverishly at perfecting whatever it is you're writing about (note that I AM NOT READING IT) but I digress) and in this pretend scenario you do want to share your piece of writing, but not, of course, until it is PERFECT or at least as perfect as you can get it before going bald.
and then, AND THEN, some COMPLETE STRANGER starts reading your ROUGH DRAFT over your shoulder AND WON'T STOP EVEN WHEN YOU DO THINGS LIKE WRITE IN YOUR NOTEBOOK "PLEASE STOP READING OVER MY SHOULDER."
WOULD YOU FIND THAT FUNNY?
I think not!
Although apparently I'm wrong, since you're still here.)
(4) Having to change tables at Starbucks because other people are unsocialized jerks.
(5) Snow
(Yes, it's here twice. I'm extra tired of it. Shut up.)
(6) Writing this blogpost.
And of course, being me, that means I SAY NOTHING AT ALL.
BECAUSE I PRESSURE MYSELF, THAT'S WHY.
(If I can't be HILARIOUS, then what is the point in being ANYTHING? HMMMMMM?)
But I felt bad for not having written in SEVEN WHOLE DAYS (OMG, THE PRESSURE TO COME BACK HERE AND BE ABSOLUTELY KNOCK-DOWN DRAG-OUT FABULOUS AFTER SEVEN DAYS IS ENORMOUS) so I thought I'd write in and apologize.
As an added bonus, here is a list:
Things I'm Tired Of
(1) Snow
(no, really, we get it, Mother Nature. We'll write. We'll call. STOP HARASSING US ALREADY)
(2) Not being funny
(see above the list)
(3) People reading over my shoulder as a type
(yes, YOU. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. REST ASSURED THAT I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU.
In fact, here's a scenario. Let's pretend YOU are working on a rough draft of something THAT YOU WANT TO BE PERFECT (because you are a perfectionist. Just go with it. I mean, obviously you're not a perfectionist because your manners are DREADFUL AND YOU ARE STILL READING OVER MY SHOULDER YES I CAN TELL YOU ARE OH, LIKE LOOKING AWAY NOW AT YOUR NOTEBOOK IS REALLY FOOLING ANYONE and also because you are not working feverishly at perfecting whatever it is you're writing about (note that I AM NOT READING IT) but I digress) and in this pretend scenario you do want to share your piece of writing, but not, of course, until it is PERFECT or at least as perfect as you can get it before going bald.
WOULD YOU FIND THAT FUNNY?
I think not!
Although apparently I'm wrong, since you're still here.)
(4) Having to change tables at Starbucks because other people are unsocialized jerks.
(5) Snow
(Yes, it's here twice. I'm extra tired of it. Shut up.)
(6) Writing this blogpost.
